Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Give Thanks - The #1 Thing I'm Most Thankful for This Year

I’m thankful for my sisters.

Five years ago, the Sunday before Thanksgiving, my dad passed away.  It wasn't tragic or even totally unexpected.  Our dad just succumbed to his ongoing health problems and passed due to natural causes.  At age 47.  Leaving three adult children and twin 6 year old girls.

My parents divorced early on and both remarried.  There was only so much my mom could say or do to comfort us.  Frankly, my dad had caused her a lot of pain during their marriage and so we knew better than to attempt to any good memories or thoughtful words.  And that’s not what I actually needed or wanted.

I wanted my sisters. 

I’m the oldest child.  In theory, that would also make me the wisest, the strongest, the most mature.  In practice, I have learned that your siblings don’t want you to fix things or give advice.  They just want to know that you are feeling the same things they are feeling inside.  To laugh when they laugh at something funny.  To cry when they cry at something monumental, something heartbreaking.  To get mad when they get mad at any injustice or attempt to wound their pride.

I love my sisters more than my own life.  When our dad passed, we formed a protective huddle and never let go.  My dad’s prior experiences of poor physical and mental health caused us to reach out for one another early on, when we were in high school.  To this day, no one hugs me longer or harder than my sisters.

One day I will most likely have children.  I know another life will start for me then.  A life with my family, my babies.  But they won’t immediately know my life before then.  My mom will remember from her point of view but only my sisters will truly have known what I felt, what I feared, what I felt guilty for, what I loved, what made me happy, who made me happy.  All my hopes, dreams, and fears.

To S – Thanks to you, I have never known how it feels to be truly alone.  No matter where I went, you've been there to talk, laugh, and confide in. Now you are a mama with two little ones and you still pick up the phone or text me back.  You are the funniest, bravest, and the most no nonsense woman I know.  I love you.

To T – When you were born, you were the best gift ever.  You were so little and so cute but were just as smart, fast and witty as we were. You hit the ground running, girl.  You get me.  You know me through and through.  You are an old soul and wildly original at the same time.  The day I grew up was the day I realized I couldn't live the rest of my life at your side.  That just wouldn't be fair to your future husband and kids. 

To M and A – You both are hilarious, nerdy, into-tainment geniuses. I wanted to simultaneously kiss you, high five you and belly bump you when you were reading my favorite childhood book Little House on the Prairie, devoured Avatar; The Last Airbender, loved anime, and played video games.  I was less than enthusiastic when you screamed like a banshee when you were 4, and I kept failing to kill a minuscule spider that chose to hover above your bunk beds.  I’m sorry Dad died.  I’m glad I still have you both in my life.  

What are you thankful for?   Let me know in the comments.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Top Image via Rifle Paper Co


Post a Comment