Friday, February 21, 2014

Nerd Rant #2 - Guardians of the Galaxy (What a bunch of a-holes)

Don't know if you, my awesome readers, keep up on all the latest comic book movie news, like I do, but the full trailer for the new Marvel movie Guardians of the Galaxy came out this week.

I used to keep up with a lil' comic book called Nova.  Which was about a superhero Richard Ryder, that became an intergalactic space cop with the Nova Corps.  Kinda of like Green Lantern, except the Nova Corps got decimated at some point and Richard was the last of his kind.  The very last Nova, except for the combined consciousness of the Nova Corps that resided in his helmet and acted very much like Tony Stark's Jarvis operating system.

This is Nova.  He would do a bunch bad ass stuff like save the universe from collapsing and working with a dog-like alien that ran a space station at the edge of time. Totally not making this up.

Nova could also shoot energy rays from the palms of his hands.  He was a lot like Green Lantern, crossed with Iron Man and with the Flash's personality.  I know I'm mixing DC and Marvel characters but whatever.  

Now frequently, Nova would team up with the Guardians of the Galaxy, which was headed by Star Lord aka Peter Quill.  Peter would don a bad-ass mask that looked part gas mask and part Nazi treasure hunter.

Star Lord with guns ablazing!

You can also see Rocket Raccoon, Drax, Gamora and two others that may or may not have made the final cut.

Now, herein lies my rant, according to the trailer there is no Nova, party of one.  There are the Nova Corps, that look to be all human.  Their uniforms look like this.

Kinda like a cheap plastic version of Judge Dredd.

You see Chris Pratt as Star Lord but without the mask.  Without the mask.  Without the guns ablazing.  Which is to say, "What is the freaking point!?!?!?"

I should also point out that Rocket Raccoon is a talking raccoon, one that sometimes the comic book writers like to bestow a British cockney accent upon.  You know, like hell if he can walk, shoot guns, wear clothes, then why wouldn't he speak with a accent?  My only issue?  Bradley Cooper is the voice of Rocket Raccoon.  So there is mostly likely not going to be an accent.  I mean I don't know for sure, because you don't hear the raccoon in the trailer, and Bradley Cooper can speak French but I'm betting the accent won't be there.

So I'm still on the fence about this.  I love Chris Pratt and he knocked it out of the park being in the Lego movie.  I love the fact that they kept Groot in the lineup (the tree-looking man).  I love that they allow Drax and Gamora to keep their green skin but I just, I don't know.  I guess only time and more trailers will tell.

PS - What the hell do I gotta do to get a Black Panther movie made, Marvel? Marry Stan Lee?

Let me know your thoughts in the comments, my Guardians of this Galaxy!

Gun ablazing,


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